Exotic? Ha! I have nothing to declare but my genius. Or something(actually it's just a nervous twitch). Anyway, we have a minor local celebrity called Joe...
I have a small problem here and I was wondering If you would help me rectify it. I am going to cover the song "Albert Hammond bootleg" with my band but I ...
Have you only got the one gig lined up? Cos if you had a couple you could try it both ways, and see which went down better with your crowd. Aside from that,...
Is it just me and my one-track mind, or is there a smutty joke at large in "Four Skinny Indie Kids"? As in Foreskin-ny... Of course, maybe I'm just criminally...
With such razor-sharp wit at their disposal, do you honestly believe Half Man Half Biscuit would be so crude as to bludgeon their fans with a foreskin? I think...
You'd better start giving this club its rusks and milk, before it gets much older and starts calling Childline. Serious neglect! Oh , did you play that gig...
Youngsters these days are so fickle Viv; nothing holds their attention for long. Not like when we were kids, eh? In our day a bottle of meths, a ball of string...
"Bludgeoned with a foreskin"?!!!!!! Can i come to your house? It sounds like the sort of scenario I've only previously come across in some demented Spike ...
What do U suggest that I do to the club!!!<br>What am I not doing?<br><br><br>Im still reharsing with my band but we should have a gig soon.<br><br>If U really...
Good stuff! See, you don't need any help at all in running this club! You'll have to excuse Viv and me, we were born in a different degeneration to yerself,...
Good stuff, young chap. I'm sure the new page colours will have them swarming in like flies too. Especially that lurid lime green - it reminds me of the ...
Aw, don't be like that! Who said I was complaining? I rather like bile green! You do what you like with your colours. What was the incentive you offered for...
Viv, yer a terrible woman! Terrorising the boy like that! No wonder the NSPCC have you on their list of "Ten Most Wanted". Nice photo on "Crimewatch" though -...
I know you posted that message back in the Ice Age, but I've come up with the ideal subject for a good kicking from the lads. Does the name David Icke ring any...
Thank you for joining us! As you can see, members here are a bit thin on the ground, so if you have any more pc-using, biscuit-appreciating friends, feel free ...
Just want to echo me mucker's comments and add a couple o' me own. If this was a real club the cops would never bother raiding it, firstly because there would...
Well Id like to start off by saying hello to the sad witch (as everyone else seems to be doing) its nice to have another fairly young person on board as the...
Good lad yerself (don't you hate being patronised?!!!); if we slag you off, then slag us back. We're old and we'll crumble...<br>On a point of order though, ...
one hundred and six words!: Well im sure we could sit here for hours and relate messages about how good/shit (delete as appropriate) Carter were but this is ...